Sunday, November 9, 2008

How to Avoid Verbal Conflict


The word "YOU" holds a strong position in all of our conversations. If we are praising someone's achievements, saying kind things, being nice YOU is a great word.

" You have done a great job of....."

"You are so clever......"

"You look fantastic in that....... "


But if we use YOU when we are annoyed angry upset it positions us to want to defend ourselves.


"You Have been talking about me"

"You made a mess in the kitchen"

"You're late to class"


In this situation if the word YOU was not used and replaced with sentences using I How would we react instead?

I dont like being talked about

I wish I had a clean kitchen

I get annoyed by lateness to class


In my experience when we delete YOU and talk about I and the problem the response is much more pleasant. It presents an opportunity for conversation, apology maybe , a change of action or thinking.

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