The word "YOU" holds a strong position in all of our conversations. If we are praising someone's achievements, saying kind things, being nice YOU is a great word.
" You have done a great job of....."
"You are so clever......"
"You look fantastic in that....... "
But if we use YOU when we are annoyed angry upset it positions us to want to defend ourselves.
"You Have been talking about me"
"You made a mess in the kitchen"
"You're late to class"
In this situation if the word YOU was not used and replaced with sentences using I How would we react instead?
I dont like being talked about
I wish I had a clean kitchen
I get annoyed by lateness to class
In my experience when we delete YOU and talk about I and the problem the response is much more pleasant. It presents an opportunity for conversation, apology maybe , a change of action or thinking.
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