Reputation versus Identity

Something to think about

Identity = How I like to look, How I think, What I chose to do or be
involved in,

I am in total control of my identity

Reputation= What peole say about me, what people see, what

people think about me

I am not in total control of reputation

Reputation and Identity develop and change all the time usually because of our experiences; where we live , who we are with, what we are doing, how old we are...

It can be very difficult to try to change a reputation that has been given to us, especially if it is a reputation we do not want to have.

What does it take to change a negative or not so good reputation?

How long does it take to change a not so good reputation

Are all reputations true?

Is it easier to work to avoid not so good reputations?

What can we do to avoid not so good reputations?

Remember

I am in control of what I think

I am in control of what I say

I am in control of what I do

If I work to have positive thoughts , actions and communication

The reward should be a good reputation .

How to Avoid Verbal Conflict

The word "YOU" holds a strong position in all of our conversations. If we are praising someone's achievements, saying kind things, being nice YOU is a great word.

" You have done a great job of....."

"You are so clever......"

"You look fantastic in that....... "

But if we use YOU when we are annoyed angry upset it positions us to want to defend ourselves.

"You Have been talking about me"

"You made a mess in the kitchen"

"You're late to class"

In this situation if the word YOU was not used and replaced with sentences using I How would we react instead?

I dont like being talked about

I wish I had a clean kitchen

I get annoyed by lateness to class

In my experience when we delete YOU and talk about I and the problem the response is much more pleasant. It presents an opportunity for conversation, apology maybe , a change of action or thinking.