Reputation versus Identity

Something to think about

Identity = How I like to look, How I think, What I chose to do or be
involved in,

I am in total control of my identity

Reputation= What peole say about me, what people see, what

people think about me

I am not in total control of reputation

Reputation and Identity develop and change all the time usually because of our experiences; where we live , who we are with, what we are doing, how old we are...

It can be very difficult to try to change a reputation that has been given to us, especially if it is a reputation we do not want to have.

What does it take to change a negative or not so good reputation?

How long does it take to change a not so good reputation

Are all reputations true?

Is it easier to work to avoid not so good reputations?

What can we do to avoid not so good reputations?

Remember

I am in control of what I think

I am in control of what I say

I am in control of what I do

If I work to have positive thoughts , actions and communication

The reward should be a good reputation .

How to Avoid Verbal Conflict

The word "YOU" holds a strong position in all of our conversations. If we are praising someone's achievements, saying kind things, being nice YOU is a great word.

" You have done a great job of....."

"You are so clever......"

"You look fantastic in that....... "

But if we use YOU when we are annoyed angry upset it positions us to want to defend ourselves.

"You Have been talking about me"

"You made a mess in the kitchen"

"You're late to class"

In this situation if the word YOU was not used and replaced with sentences using I How would we react instead?

I dont like being talked about

I wish I had a clean kitchen

I get annoyed by lateness to class

In my experience when we delete YOU and talk about I and the problem the response is much more pleasant. It presents an opportunity for conversation, apology maybe , a change of action or thinking.

Friends

As a teen friends are the center of our world !!

Good friends are always there for us: they support us, give good advice, never judge us, and keep us going in a safe positive direction.
We need to know that as we develop, change, grow individually our friends change also. Sometimes we will go in the same direction and other times we will pull apart.
Making true friends can be tricky. Just because some one is our friend doesn't mean that they are always good for us. People change and sometimes that change is not always positve.
Friends who take take and take but give nothing back are not good friends. These friends never share, dump you when they get a new boyfriend but expect you to pick up the pieces when it falls apart, ask you to lie for them and often only talk about themselves. If you have a friend like this tell them this is how it is and how it feels for you !!!